Friday, April 6, 2012

Comparison

Have you ever compared yourself with other people! Did you grow up being compared to another sibling who was academically superior? Were you ever compared to someone on you team that was better than you? I am sure that most of us have undergone some form of comparison at one time or other. Join me as I explore this theme!

A comparison can lead to many things. Often times its a standard that we use to measure our worth. For example if I see a guy walk in the room I may compare myself to him by observing how cool he is or if he's intelligent or not. Or I may compare myself to my siblings by asking myself if my Mom loves me just as much as she loves my brothers and sisters. Before I was saved I was a breakdancer who participated in competitions. During the competitions which were called (BBboy Jams) I would compare myself to other breakdancers (bboys). It was very restrictive and suppressed my ability to fully express myself and prevented me from maximizing my potential because I would be discouraged by people that had better moves or were more talented! I learned through personal experience that comparison can be very self-destructive. Also when I was younger (7th and 8th grade) I was teased about my looks, I was called a monkey and the girls I liked never reciprocated the feelings. I grew up with this complex and although I matured into a handsome young man and girls found me attractive I didn't think like what I saw in the mirror and would always compare myself. I still struggle with my self image to a certain extent but the Lord has healed me tremendously in this area of my life. Comparison also impinges upon us heavy blows to our self esteem. I believe that the root of comparison in instances where we say someone is better than us at something is believing that we are not good enough.

Other times we autonomously draw comparisons between two entities because we are not content with what we have. A simple illustration of this point is when we go buy a new coat we compare different coats because we are not sure that a certain coat will meet our needs. The comparisons that people make between us are more detrimental to our psyche and our self image. For example when a Mom says "John you should be more like Bobby because He gets good grades and obeys everything I say." Or when a teacher tells one of her students "Devon you should be more like Matt because he was elected president". In saying this you are indirectly saying that the person you are comparing to is not good enough and that you are not satisfied with them. Its usually worse for women who are more sensitive and generally more insecure than men. The common comparison for women would be saying that one female is prettier than the other (whether it be a sister or a friend) which can actually lower their self esteem.

The comparisons that others make about us seem to result in deeper conflicts that mar souls. They may lead to an inferiority complex and cause us to seek validation in places that will only hurt us more or leave us empty. Comparisons can leave scars in our hearts that torment us for the rest of our lives until Christ changes us and redeems us from that oppression. Furthermore the lies of the enemy can lead us to make internal comparisons such as a fatherless girl. Her comparisons will be rooted in rejections and her thoughts will be similar to "I guess he was better without me or his new kids are better than me". Her mom's thoughts will be he found a better wife than me because I couldn't offer what he was looking for.

Comparisons can ultimately lead us to look for validation in vanity such as attention from man, drugs, alcohol, sex .... Comparison can propagate jealousy. In looking at others that display better skills than you, or are perceived as more attractive or have more money, or a higher position in the workplace, or have been accepted in the school you desire to attend, or pursue a profession you like, or date a person you like, or drive a car you want to buy, the list goes on and on and on! Jealousy is responsible for murder, maliciousness, fights, divorce, break ups, betrayal, and so much more. It is culpable of destroying families and causing bitterness in relationships and can destroy the fabric of any team or group. These are some of the main reasons comparison is not good and the Bible warns us of this peril! 2 Cor 10:12 "but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." It is not wise to compare each other with one another!

On the other hand we can't just advise people not to compare we must provide an alternative. The alternative is the most complex idea in the world " be yourself" and be content with everything God gave you! The Lord made us unique for a reason because he knew us when we were in our mother's womb. Even if we have our flaws we must accept them and let the Lord change them. Everybody in the Body of Christ has a job or function so we shouldn't compare it with In addition we are unique because He chose us and created us for His glory! That enough, should lead us not to compare but to be honored that the God who created the Universe has called us Friend. 1 Cor 12:22-23 22 "No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23 And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty." Everybody is unique and can contribute to diversity in the body. As an individual Christian, our strengths will help the Body of Christ function more efficiently!

Visualizing the way God made us and had mercy on us will help us to understand that I'm an individual. Once we understand that our identity is found in God and we belong to the Lord it will eradicate comparison, although comparison can spur healthy competitions more often than not it can lead to bad thoughts and jealousy. If we were all the same then the world and the body of Christ would be boring and mundane. Thank God for each one of us having special characteristics and being unique! Through God creating us different we can add something special to the world, even with our imperfections. The body needs an ear and an arm to function properly (Body of Christ). Diversity is a fundamental key to success in any area of life. Let us embrace our identities and the way the Lord made us! Let us be satisfied with the way God made us and stop measuring ourselves with others'standards. There is freedom in accepting the way the Lord created us!

Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

Jeremiah 1:5 " Before I formed you in the belly I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

God I ask in Jesus name that people will not be bound by comparison! I rebuke any spirit of comparison that may be lead to jealousy or be rooted in rejection or low self esteem! God has accepted us as we are, He is satisfied by watching us be who we are! My prayer tonight is that everybody will embrace who God created them to be and more importantly who they are in Christ!

Lord,

I declare and decree that people will be confident because God loves them the way they are.

I declare and decree that they will embrace how God created them

I declare and decree that they will see themselves as unique and precious

I declare and decree that we will be open to our own flaws and imperfections as well as each other's

I declare and decree that we will stop comparing and begin to see ourselves and each other the way God sees us (his children, blameless, with love and compassion)

God to you be the glory, honour, praise and dominion! WE ask this in Jesus Mighty Name, Amen!!!!!

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