Psychological underpinning

Human nature has developed different ways of compensating for flaws. Its quite interesting how most of our everyday behaviors have a psychological underpinning. Psyche plays a major role in our world and allow us to communicate or miscommunicate. Having a sister who is in the Psychology field has led me to be more appreciative and reverent of the field.

Observation is the key to understanding how crucial psychology is in influencing somebody's behaviors. Superficially inflating or protecting your ego through lying is one way that people compensate for their flaws. A possible scenario could be a girl lying about sexual contact; females usually fear being judged so they lie in order to avoid being judged. A past event may have inflicted psychological scarring that wasn't repaired and caused her to suffer from low self-value; she could have been abused at a young age. Therefore she sleeps around because she thinks that guys will give her value and make her feel better. The reality is that guys do not respect her and she becomes submissive by allowing guys to trample over her. For ladies out there listening: when you give yourself up, you give up your POWER! Guys will not value you, If YOU DONT VALUE YOURSELF! BOTTOM LINE! Usually its the best looking girls who have the lowest self esteem for various reasons.

Other ways of avoiding your insecurities is through injuring others' egos. A common example is one who constantly insults others, I would fathom a guess that the individual is attempting to alleviate their suffering from low self esteem by elevating their ego.

Another way that we as humans masquerade our flaws is through blaming others for our own failures. For example if I miss my interview because the bus was late, I will blame the transit system for not being on time; when in reality it is my fault because I did not leave early. Other times we may blame somebody else for something that is more permanent. A guy may blame his parents for not enrolling him in an academically challenging high school and causing his poor academic performance in college. We may not be able to change the past but we can develop habits and enhance skills in order to maximize our chances of academic success. However, blaming is easier because it preserves our pride and ego while covering our flaws and exposing others' flaws.

One of the most universal ways of escaping our flaws is through a defensive mechanism in which we are defensive and justify our behaviors. Take me for example I am a dancer; I would say I am a good dancer. Now somebody may have seen me perform on stage and criticize my dancing by telling me that I could have done a move better or that my count was off on stage. My first reaction is to preserve my ego and respond by saying "everybody else messed up, and you only saw me". Or I may say "no, I messed up because I only practiced the dance several times". Or lets say Im a a Hip Hop artist and a critic says that my music can be improved. My defense mechanism may be" you dont know what you are talking about" signifying that the person lacks expertise so they are fundamentally wrong. Even though they may have a valid point!

All of these scenarios play a dramatic role on who we are and how we respond to different psychological stimuli. Everybody is innately different and reacts differently to the same situations. This is the beauty of genetics and environment and how they shape our response to the same situations.

That’s it for now Peace Love Happiness, and faith!

Changing one's life 2

As I said before the reason why people turn their lives around intrigues me. The motives behind changes vary. Some people want to change a destructive habit whether its being jealous or using drugs to make a loved one like their mom happy, others change in order to satisfy themselves or God. Other people change because they are inspired by somebody else. Certain individuals may arrive at a vision from a higher source and feel the need to fulfill it while others want to make the community or the world a better place. Some people may just want to prove to themselves and/or others that they can change and accomplish their goal. Whatever inspired people to make a positive change varies but the bottom line is that made a change!

Changing one's life 1

Hello fellow bloggers tune in, Im back at it again.

Changing one's habits can be challenging but changing one's life can be even more difficult. Just the idea of examining one's life can be a daunting task, imagine re-navigating the course. I know everybody knows someone who was a troublemaker in primary school or high school and changed their life around. This person could have achieved poor grades but is now a manager at their respective company. These scenarios are mind boggling however even more intriguing is what drove these individuals to make such a dramatic change in their life? For example I know someone who wasn't the most disciplined student in college and is now director of a program for college students. I can speak from my own personal experience as my brother was a goof-off in elementary school and high school but shaped up and is excelling in college. He said that he never really thought about his education as a priority and found school fun. Although he was a slacker he always had the potential but never used it. Its like a basketball player who possessed innate skill and never practiced. In the athlete's case he becomes a mediocre athlete rather than an exceptional one.

Looking at some of the most pivotal figures in society I have observed that temporary failures have been transformed into historical successes. Yesterday on the radio I heard that while the majority of mankind is resistant to change, highly successful people are willing to change their thoughts and behaviors. This illustrates the difficulty of disrupting a vicious cycle in your life. When your life has a negative pattern it becomes burdensome to change. People who have changed are usually expecting better outcomes. The process of changing is two-step process. First you have to recognize that there is something wrong and that you need to change it. The second step is that you need to begin taking the necessary steps to actualize the desired change. This journey is one that will not come without obstacles, but perseverance, faith, and hard work will help your reach your destination.

Thomas Edison tried 6,00 times before he invented the incandescent light bulb. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team before becoming arguably the best basketball player in professional sports history. Albert Einstein failed out of school before winning the Nobel prize and becoming one the most renowned physicists and intellectuals to graze the earth. The difference between these luminaries and other humans was that they acknowledged that they had to change and executed in order to accomplish their goals! Whether you were an alcoholic and became sober or somebody who failed every test in highschool and became a CEO of a company you can change your life around.

Commercial vs Non commercial

Whats going on followers I am coming through with a fresh topic straight from my dome.

So two days ago I was conversing with a friend about an activity we share which is break dancing. I expressed my view about movies such as You Got Served and Step Up and how the commercialization of break dancing through movies has had an overall positive effect on breaking because it has exposed others to the art. On the contrary, my friend retaliated by saying that commercialization has a detrimental effect on breaking. He elaborated by illustrating different ways that break dancing's rawness is dissipating as a result of commercialization. Primarily he said that due to the portrayal of breaking in these films everybody thinks that breaking is consists of just spinning on your head. In addition he mentioned that the art is not preserved in its original nature when it is commercialized. He also articulated that through commercialization people forget about the history and the foundation of breaking.

Upon further discussion, I came to the realization that it is a double edged sword. Commercialization has its pros and cons indeed. Although commercialization can introduce the world to a genre or form of art (like breaking) that is scarcely known, it can have significant disadvantages. The main disadvantages emanate from the market values such as egotism, glamorization, sex, violence, pleasure, dishonesty, and/or exaggeration. While break dancing is being exploited by the media the purity and essence of the art form is being tainted! Non market values such as love, sacrifice, authenticity, camaraderie, compassion, and most importantly integrity are being replaced by market values. Well what does this all mean in terms of breaking being commercialized. This means that commercialization can play a positive role in the evolution of break dancing because it will expose the world to the brilliant art of break dancing and other cultures will cause it to expand by infusing their own elements into breaking. If it wasn't for "Beat Street" or "Wild Style' breaking would not have reached the next level.

However, here is a caveat: if "breaking" does not limit commercialization it will become difficult to stay true to the art and preserve its genuineness. Shows like So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance Crew have brought breaking to the forefront so the world can see the beautiful form of expression that began in the urban areas of New York City and then disseminated around the globe. But they have also distorted the authenticity of the art form by omitting the original elements such as toprocking, six step, and beat rocking. These elements are superseded by the "flashy" moves like airflares and flips. Whenever the media takes control of an art like visual art, dance, music, or poetry it tends to distort it and make it all about 'shock value" and focus on the "ooohhs and aaahhs" rather than staying true to the art. Media does allow the art of breaking to grow and evolve; we all know that if something doesn't grow then it will die. Moreover commercialization gives bboys an opportunity to earn a sustainable income which would otherwise not be possible. On one hand its a positive thing for breaking but it also has the potential to destroy the art's true nature. Ultimately, love, sacrifice, camaraderie, and authenticity are forces that must trump egotism, glamorization, dishonesty, pleasure and sex if the art is to be preserved.

Beyond Race

Hey there guys Im back again with my little thoughts hehe! Read below to get into the mind of Alex

This past weekend I visited my cousin at her college in Connecticut where she is doing summer research. There I met my cousin's roomate's boyfriend. When my cousin first introduced me to him, he appeared to be genuinely interested in who I was; he seemed outgoing and open minded. My intuition led me right, as I got to know him I discovered that is his ethnicity was a mixture of European countries. During our conversation he told me that his mom had just earned her PHD in architecture from Brown University.

We exchanged thoughts, ideas, and interests; I eventually found out we had a lot in common. He liked basketball, rap, and urban culture. We even shared favorite books. Despite our difference in racial background and possibly social class we were able to reach common ground!

I want to illustrate this point with hopes of demonstrating that we can connect with people with whom we never imagined ourselves connecting. I say this because while I am an open minded individual for the longest time I thought the deepest connections I could make were only within my race.

Meeting different people in various circles has allowed me to broaden my social horizons. Although I have love for my ethnicity I have been enlightened by the relationships I have built with people of varying racial and socio-economic backgrounds. These experiences have been insightful and have made me a better individual! I am grateful to the creator for these experiences.

Dont Judge a book by its cover 2

In some scenarios we tend to judge people by the school they attend or their particular profession. For example you may see a prostitute offering you her service who may seem like she enjoys selling her body. Well the true matter of the fact is that her first sexual encounter was when she was abused as a young girl and she perpetuates the vicious cycle through frivolous sexual contact. As a result of her previous sexual abuse her self esteem is low and she continues to allow herself to be abused because it is the only way she knows how to deal with this traumatic experience. In another very different but less devastating scenario there may be somebody who attends Harvard and appears to be very intelligent. The real story is that he is a "C" student in high school with mediocre SATS who's father and grandfather went to the same school. Since he was a legacy, the admissions committed gave him a conditional acceptance.

As you can see, looks can be quite deceiving whether its at a superficial level like what somebody's profession is or at a profound level like why a woman chooses to sell her body. Life is very ironic like that I guess. Sometimes we as humans classify and generalize way beyond what is ordained, we never know who somebody really is nor what they have been through, so let us read a couple of pages before we judge a book by its cover.

Dont judge a book by its cover 1

In life there is one fatal mistake that most of us make and that is judging a book by its cover. Assumptions and preconceived notions can consume our thoughts when we first meet new people. However, those thoughts can be challenged. I must admit abstaining from preconceived notions is extremely difficult especially within a society that puts labels on everybody. These social classifications can inhibit our interpersonal relationships. What you will find is that preconceived notions are usually false perceptions of individuals.

A real life scenario of falsely judging a book by its cover is somebody who has tattoos, wears his pants below his waist, and works at a local Bodega but is perceived to be a criminal. This young man actually turns out to be a lawyer. Then there is a scenario of a woman who dresses appropriately (in a blouse an dress pants) and whose daytime profession is actually drug dealing. Here we see that one's apparel can be quite misleading in regards to judging one's character. Another common example regarding clothing is a girl who dresses provocatively and is perceived to be promiscuous but is actually a virgin.

Another feature of an individual that can be misleading is somebody's place of residence. For instance let's say you meet an older white male who is part of a country club, wears brand name clothing, and speaks with a refined suburban accent. At first glance it may seem like he may be a Westchester County resident or reside in Greenwich Connecticut but he is actually a resident from inner city Philadelphia. On the contrary there may be a young black male who speaks in slang rather than proper English, wears plain clothing, hangs out in a Bronx park where he plays basketball during his leisurely time. This guy may appear to be from the Bronx but actually lives in Bronxville, New York.