Prior to getting saved I was depressed (right after college)! The person who I thought to be me wasnt! In college I was suave, papi chulo, the dancer, popular, and quite the socialite! My image became my idol, I cared about what I wore, what cologne I put on, the next hottest dance move, and the girls I associated and fornicated with! I was slave to sin! Unforgiveness ruled my heart! Well fastforward to graduation. I left Syracuse and went to back to the Bronx! All the false identities that I thought were true began crashing down every fast, which I had not time to prepare for! I though I was socially significant(all of a sudden I was in environment where nobody knew me except my parents and family)! I thought I was dancer (but now I didn't get to dance as much because there were no groups such as the ones on campus)! I realized that my ego was superficially inflated and that it consisted of external praise and affirmation! I began to seek out poetry as a way to deal with these internal conflicts and different ways to cope with this identity crises! I sought out self help books, friendly advice, and even saw a psychologist! Then thoughts of paranoia would devour my mind: (Im not good enough, why is that person laughing are they laughing at me, what will people think of me if I do so and so, does she find me attractive, can I beat that guy up, why did she only say this negative thing to me?) The thoughts would go on and on! I struggled with low self esteem and suicidal thoughts! Then I was recommended to read A Purpose Driven Life! I began reading it and was instantly magnetized to the book! After reading the book, I began reading the Bible everyday and at the time I was working in a hospital which was a very stressful environment where I was surrounded by darkness! I was amazed at how much the Word of God gave me peace and the rest. God is truly a source of power! So April 2010 is when the fight happened and when God opened my eyes!
Then in July 2010 I was invited to this event by the organizer of the dance group I was part of in college and went to the event (which was in Brooklyn)! I went to the event and saw teens falling out, a heavy set man on stage screaming surrender to God! The scene was just dramatic and a bit frightening to be honest! I attended a workshop and heard a message where the pastor said that if you claim to be a Christian but everybody around you does not know you are a Christian then there is a problem! The words pierced through my heart and I was never the same again! I accepted my Lord and savior Jesus Chris that night with no altar call! As I was walking to the train station I felt a certain warmth that I had never felt before and I felt different! So I told God that Im never looking back! So that I did, I backslid twice (went to two clubs: in Mexico and in New York). Both times I felt convicted by the Holy Spirit and felt empty inside! So I made a promise to God to devote my life to Him before I went back to school for my Masters. Through reading the Word, allowing the Holy Spirit to work through me, attending the campus Christian fellowship filled with the Holy Ghost, and attending Christian conferences I was able to grow!
All of these things helped me grow in the Lord at an astonishing rate! I went to two conferences in the Spring which were my turning point! One of the conferences showed how this generation is the one to lead the world and affect change! There were massive amount of youth younger than me: 14-22! It was amazing to see so many young people on FIRE FOR GOD! Then in April 2011 I went to another conference where I witnessed somebody giving their life to Christ as well as the manifestation of the Holy Spirit and opportunities to witness: Word of knowledge where God tells you something about somebody! God told the pastor about three people: One person had a heart problem that did not allow him to participate in Sports and he prophesied over him that He will speak in large capacities about the Lord! I was amazed at how powerful God is! Then I finished up my school year and decided I was going on a mission trip! So now its approximately 4 weeks until I depart for my mission trip and I am syked like I cannot contain the excitement! However I am aware of the peril and severity that lies ahead! As I have heard of kidnappings and killings in the area, but it did say in the Bible that Jesus’ followers will be persecuted! However, in Josh 1:9 it says Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." God will deliver me from my enemies and I believe that with all my heart! Bless God is He is so faithful, just, righteous and good to me! Gloria al Senor! I will have testimonies of the amazing things God did over there when I come back! In Jesus Name!
Man God is amazing! He has been so faithful! When you accept Jesus as your Lord and savior and lay your life down for God he will turn your life around and either give you a purpose or redefine it! It is a never ending adventure with God! I am closing in on a year in Christ! This year is very symbolic for me as it marks 1 full year being a slave to righteousness and liberated in Christ! One year of being tempted, confused, prospered, strengthened, lifted up, enlightened, and blessed! The Lord has delivered me from the pit! The life in the world does not compare to the life in the Lord! Before I skepticized that the Lord had a plan for my life! Now I know He does! Praise be to God and glory to Him in the Highest! I know there are greater things to come, we will just have to wait and see! God is awesome! I pray that everybody reading this will open their heart and hear my story as well as open their eyes to see the TRUTH! I pray that people will trust in the Lord and nothing else! Thank you brothers and sisters for allowing me to share my thoughts! Thank you Jesus for this time of communion! Protect and keep your children wherever they are remind them that you are King and we are your heirs: princes and princesses! In Jesus name we pray!
Phil 3:8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ